Moving On

Lately I have found it hard to find the line between feedback and criticism. In January I had to go to the Emergency room where it was discovered that I had gall bladder stones. When I got out of surgery, it was also discovered that I had Influenza A and E. coli in my blood. The flu had become so bad that I had pneumonia which is why I had gone to the ER in the first place.

After six days in the hospital which was quite eventful, hubby brought me home and has had to do a lot for me that he was not used to. This is where the problem comes in. Do I tell him when something is not quite right? Or do I just ignore, suck it up and keep my mouth shut?

Of course, many would say let him know so he can do it right the next time. But, what if there is a lot of “letting him know” going on? Would not this tend to be overwhelming for him? He really is trying and is so sweet in what he is willing to take on.

This dilemma has become apparent in other parts of society. Look at the Special Olympics where the only feedback allowed is positive. Look at school classes where students are not given criticism and instead allowed to “just do their best”.  Human Resource Officers frown on bosses who criticize and harp on employees who are not getting the job done right. Sometimes it even is called a “hostile workplace.”

I can understand the Special Olympics. These children NEED positive feedback, they need the praise and encouragement afforded to them in these events. But what about in the classroom where progress needs to be encouraged and mistakes need to be corrected? What about the employee who costs the company money for not getting it right over and over?

When the girls were in ballet and hubby and I would go to the yearly recitals it became obvious that some classes were not ready for a recital. Hubby believed that giving them applause was sending the wrong message. He said they would believe they were good and not strive to become better. Me, I wanted to clap for the effort. In my mind it was the teacher who was at fault not the children. Besides, who could resist those cute little three year olds in their tutu’s and tiny ballet shoes?

Criticism, feedback, applause, praise. When do you use them? When you withhold them?

In the case of myself and hubby who was trying to do the impossible and please a difficult wife it has become a tightrope that both of us walk. If he fixed me some scrambled eggs that were swimming in butter, then I sucked it up and ate them. I just did not ask him to fix those for me again. But, I did tell him the toast was wrong because that will be something he would be fixing for me again. Then just last night he mentioned getting in trouble for doing toast wrong – so he did not take that feedback very well. Or I did not deliver it very well. Or perhaps I should not have said anything.

Well, she is really not a kitty, but a grown cat at least six years old. Poor baby belonged to hubby’s cousin who passed away last week. This precious kitty has been just about on her own for a year in her mama’s house while mama was in the hospital and assisted living and it shows. She has gained weight and is real reclusive.

Precious Demona

But she is gorgeous. She is a tortie and has great markings. When we used to visit her mama she would come out and say hi and let us pet her and love on her. So we know she has it in her to become a great family member.

We are still working on convincing our other two that this will be a great friend. There is lots of growling and hissing going on now days. Demona has been living for over  a week in our guest bathroom. We get her out when the other two are put up for at least several times a day, an hour or more at a time.  Well, last night we started letting all three out at the same time. Demona is really taking it easy and not pushing it. At times, like now she just stays in the bathroom even though the door is open. Of course, if we both leave the house, we will shut her up to be sure our two cats don’t hurt her or that she does not get into something that would hurt her.

But I just thought you all might have some input on how we might make this transition go easier on her.

Its been a while and a lot has happened.

Friday, DigiScrapStation closed down for good. It has been a long time coming and frankly, overdue. The store has not made little profit for several years. In addition, my health has not been very good for almost two years and it has been hard to do my share to keep the store going.

So what am I going to do with myself? As you can see by a quick tour of my blog I have become involved in sewing, embroidery work and quilting. I have even been teaching some classes on these subjects in the local quilt shops. My sewing room took over my computer room and now it is strictly just for sewing. The desktop computer gave way to a laptop and everything computer is done on the laptop. In fact, the desktop is no longer part of our household.

Due to my health though, I have had to cut back on the classes that I was teaching. Now I am only going to be teaching four classes a month, with two of those being on the same day. So that means I only teach three days a month. Hopefully, this will ease the stress and work needed to keep up. Actually, I might even be able to get some of my personal projects done!

So keep tuned, I hope to get some of my projects and patterns posted here on this blog as I Move On to a new phase of my life.

Don’t you hate to wait? Especially when it is something that is important or exciting to you?

The important issue that is giving me anxious moments is the medical thing. Ya I posted about how frustrating it is and how I just wish it would be over, but hey it is still hanging around. Had a CT yesterday in Austin and go back to a specialist Tuesday. So the waiting will not be over soon.

The other more exciting event I am waiting on is the retreat I am going on the middle of this month. It’s with a bunch of us that get together on retreat about three or four times a year. We have a ball and actually get some quilting done. Some get more done that others. Getting a bunch done is not that important to me as the fellowship is. We have a BALL!

But this waiting brings me back to the waiting days we used to have when I was teaching. I would hear fellow teachers saying just three more days to the weekend, or ten more days to Thanksgiving. They would be counting down the days to the next break. Their whole lives were spent counting the days until they could do something they enjoyed. Or perhaps they looked at as counting the days until they got a break from doing something they did not like doing. It seemed so sad to me, it was like they were wasting their lives, frittering them away waiting for other parts of it to start. That is spending 71% of your life waiting.

It is bad enough that we have to spend a certain amount of our life in sleep and other life sustaining activities, but to voluntarily give away such a large proportion of our lives to doing something that makes up dream of being elsewhere is wasteful. If you don’t like what you are doing now, don’t dream of times to come, but make NOW something that keeps your attention focused on now.

So with that in mind, I am making up my lists of what I want to do NOW. I may not get to all of them, but I am going to enjoy doing what I can.

Does that mean I am not going to anticipate the retreat? NO, cause to me the anticipation is part of the fun. I am picturing myself at the retreat, talking to my friends, seeing the work they have done and what they are working on now. I see myself staying up all night due to excitement and having a ball.

Will I spend time and energy being frustrated over this medical thing taking so long to resolve? Probably. I am not perfect and will get frustrated at the limitations forced on me with this yuckiness of vertigo but I will work harder not to let it get me down.

By the way, I updated my Crazy Quilt page with some new photos showing the progress I am making on it. You might want to take a look by clicking on the tab above.

Its been too long, way too long!

May 27 wake up with congestion and major coughing. Have to cancel plans to attend Memorial Day cemetery cleaning/visits, During the day, ear issues develop

May 29 get in to see PA and get RX for antibiotics and cough syrup, plus directions on what OTC to take Ear Infection disappears in days

June 14 see PA again – more coughing

June 24 Vertigo sets in –coughing gone, but Vertigo is so bad I cannot walk

June 25 see PA again, cry and throw up cause the vertigo is soooo bad

June 28 See ENT – MRI scheduled Hearing test administered  down the hall

July 16 – follow up with ENT –also balance test administered IF YOU EVER ARE OFFERED ONE OF THESE DECLINE Doc gives RX for antibiotics and steroids. Says there is heavy mucus in my mastoid

August 8   Doc gives another round of antibiotics and refers me to a ear specialist. Won’t see him until August 27

I AM SO TIRED OF THIS!

Poor hubby he has to drive me anywhere I need to go as, of course with this vertigo I can’t drive. But this crap has been going on all summer and I am gaining weight like you wouldn’t believe! About early July, I decided that I was not going to stay sitting in my chair anymore and have been sewing and working on the computer. It takes twice as long to get stuff done, but stuff is getting done. That helps in that I am not fretting over stuff that is waiting on me.

OK, just had to let it out. Moving on

In Flanders Fields
John McCrae, 1915. In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.